hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
