It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
