Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
