please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
