Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
