ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
