It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
