I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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