tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
