just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
