Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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