It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize