Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
