this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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