Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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