I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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