guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
