So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
