Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize