Tell her she can't have a vagina
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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