the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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