He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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