Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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