there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
