you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize