So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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