Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
