the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
