Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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