Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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