note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
