He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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