help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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