I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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