Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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