please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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