It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
