Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
wow bdsm is so cute
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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