i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
