god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
