The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize