we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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