Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
