The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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