Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
