I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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