I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize