He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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