so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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