just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
