CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize