please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
