dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
